Release.

In previous posts I've brought up the fact of how my experiences directly influence how I carry myself. Let's talk about what exactly that means.

I've always been thought of as a bit "preachy", but I feel like the things I have to say about things hold some value. A few minutes ago my friend was telling me about how stressed they are at the moment. They told me about feelings of being overwhelmed, and almost fainting. I been there, and it hit a climax last year, just as an honor student trying to branch himself out into EVERYTHING: student activities, responsibilities as class president, planning prom, preparing for ap tests, keeping grades up, having a social and family life, and even being part of the school musical.

In essence I've been through more than everyone will probably ever know, and more than anyone will imagine. I look back at it all and think that it truly is WAY too much for a seventeen year old young man to go through, and there are times where I sit down and think about why did God put it on me. I used to believe that you can make your own fortune by your own actions, and in many ways that is true, but in situations where it is out of your hand, I understand that it happens for a reason.

Sometimes I think why things happen to me is because God knows I have some higher purpose in life. I always felt like a born leader, I always felt like I had an extra something inside me that separated me from everyone else. I'm not the smartest, most athletic, most handsome, richest, or nicest guy in the world, but I got something. I think I have some charm to me that is obvious to everyone I know in life.

Millions of times I used to wonder why I cannot "fly under the radar" like how some people can. How come I can never be those people that you know in high school that slip your mind, that get overlooked. Sometimes I feel that I know too many people and are known by too many people; that everyone wants a piece of me. This leads me to feel very stretched out a lot of the time, more so last year but improving now and this year. Sometimes I just want to be important to a certain few, to the people that I really want close to me. I would rather feel wanted by a few than be adored by many.

Keeping perspective, I think this feeling will quickly go away in college. Just because I've been "that guy" in high school doesnt mean shit in the big pond hahah. Which excites me to some extent!