Thoughts of Mine.

I think girls that look like Fobs are unattractive.

I need some Neosporin.

Have you invested in Michael Jackson's CD "Off the Wall"? If not, please listen to "off the wall", "girlfriend", and "cant help it" to name a few.

I need some money. For rachel's gift, my cal hat, and a blue button up.

I have a problem with authority. Most of the time I obey/listen to directions if I respect you.

I need to do my homework.

I don't think I'd be able to handle being in a relationship with a girl who loves to party. You cannot be my girlfriend if you think I'm tripping because you danced with hella guys at a party. You gots to go!

I don't think I'm boyfriend material in general. I'm very awkward with girls now, and the ones I'm not are only my close friends.

Alexis is smooth like butter with women though. It's fun seeing him game on a chick.

I love my mom.

Life is fun right now. Thank God for everything.

I probably second-hand smoke more than is good. Thanks friends.

'Nsync slaps hard. Enough said.

I honestly love to sing in the car. I never thought I was a great singer, I just sing. I believe in that thing that goes, "If you can walk, you can dance. If you can talk, you can sing" type thing

I like being silly. I love making people laugh

I think it is the worst thing to be a pessimist. I am a devout optimist. Hey, its worked out for me so far right?

Concord Mall is losing credibility with me. Seriously. Y'all better have your Cal hat when I come back on Friday. Very threatening right? HAHAH

whooooooo

I'M GOING TO BERKELEY!!!!!!

I GOT ACCEPTED INTO UC BERKELEY! WHOOOOOT

Spring semester 2010 though. I'm okay about it, because the very next morning after I certified-mailed my reservation spot for the Berkeley Fall Extension Program for freshmen who got accepted into the spring semester. It was a $100 fee by check, and a page I had to print out, and hopefully I got reserved because there are only 625 spots in this program.

I read up on it and it says that it is okay for me to reserve a spot in the program before sending my letter of intent, and I will be notified if I got into the program after May 1. However, I am wondering if this program and how I fare in it will affect my spring semester in any way.

Anyway, I will be keeping myself busy by taking a couple classes over the summer and maybe in the fall as well if I don't get into the fall extension program. Particularly I'd want to take an English class, a calculus class, and a computer class. Hopefully these are spread out and I will be very careful in not burning myself out before college.

Thank you Ms. Jurkovich, I was really expecting Berkeley to turn me down especially after being declined from Cal Poly. Even after receiving my acceptance into Berkeley I was hesitant into which school should I choose, Berkeley or Davis. I'm taking time during this spring break to talk it over with all of my family and close friends and they said that they would be especially proud of me if I went to Berkeley. It has been my dream school, and the only thing that I am hesitant about is whether or not I will be able to handle the workload and rigor of Berkeley. Could you tell me a little bit more about your personal experience as a student, academic-wise?

Again, thank you very much and I think if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have been able to get through the personal statement and application phase AT ALL. I am grateful for your help and all those times where you called me out of class to make sure I was on the right track with my college stuff.

I know, long email. Sorry! hahah

Earnest Salgado

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Hi Earnest,
AHHHH!!! (I know, I got a list of students who were accepted on Thursday night.. I was absolutely thrilled when I saw your name on the list, I was screaming at my computer, haha)!!! CONGRATULATIONS, I am SO proud of you! Honestly, I knew you would get in, you are a perfect fit for Berkeley.

And I'm so glad you already reserved a spot for Fall Extension. I'm sure you will be fine since you reserved a spot so quickly. I have many friends who took fall extension courses for the first semester, and they all graduated with students in 4 years who started the "normal" way in the fall on the Berkeley campus. By the way, spring admits are selected randomly, so it has nothing to do with your qualifications. Berkeley does this because it has something to do with enrollment numbers, and they have more spots in the Spring. And extension classes are held (or they were when I was there, this could have changed, I'll find out) at a large church next to the dorms, just a couple of blocks from the actual Berkeley campus. And often times, extension students may live in the dorms. You want to make sure you reserve housing as soon as you are able to do so. I
had tons of friends in extension who lived on my floor in the dorms freshman year. I know students really like extension because class sizes are a bit smaller, and because you're in classes only with extension students, you tend to form a close community of friends. If for some reason your spot is not reserved, do let me know, I'll see if I can pull any strings! (I do doubt this though since you sent in a reservation so quickly).

Fall extension doesn't affect your spring semester. If you took classes in the fall through extension, you would start spring semester on the actual Berkeley campus. Also, the professors for Extension are still real Berkeley professors, so you are getting the same amazing education. Your extension classes give you the same types of credits as "normal" enrollment.

And I was in your situation too, thinking about Davis or Berkeley. I was so scared that I wouldn't be able to deal with the rigor of Berkeley, and so afraid that everyone else would be smarter than me. But after my first semester at Cal, I found out everyone feels that way. I have every absolute confidence that if you attend Cal, you will be successful there. You are an intelligent, resourceful student who will ask questions if something doesn't make sense and utilize resources to help you through. I'm not saying it will be easy, because it isn't for anyone, but Berkeley has an incredible support system for students through tutoring services, etc. Professors have office hours, graduate students are there to help you as well. And if you live in the dorms, often the dorms provide tutoring services, as well. Berkeley is a challenge, but that challenge brought me such rewards and gave me an education I think is truly unique to that university. I honestly think it's the one of the best educations
you can get in the world. And I think that if you attend Berkeley you might surprise yourself with your capabilities...that's what happened to me. I was convinced I would not get above C's in my classes, but I actually never ended up getting below a B. And I came from a high school where no one goes away to college, let alone Cal, so it was even extra scary because it was like uncharted waters...I had no idea if high school had prepared me.

Obviously, my opinion is going to be biased, and you need to attend college where you feel fits you the best, but don't not go to Berkeley only because the rigor is intimidating. I think what I loved so much about Cal was the fact that not only did I get an amazing education inside the classroom, but you learn so much from the diversity of the other students there, too. And remember, you were selected to go there from thousands of other qualified applicants, because the admissions officers know that if you attend, you will succeed and know that you have something great to offer to the campus community.

I will forward you an invitation to a reception for new admits with UC Berkeley's Chancellor tomorrow...the reception is on April 15th from 5:30-7:30pm, and it would be wonderful if you and your parents could attend (I'll be there!). The chancellor will speak, and the reception is for students from high schools who have EAOP/Destination College type
programs.

Sorry, that was long, too. But let's definitely talk when we get back from break... I could go on for years about how much I love Cal, and why I think you would too! haha And email me if you have any questions/concerns over this week, I will be checking my email often.

Congrats, again! I know your family must be so proud of you! And be proud of yourself, this is a huge accomplishment. YAY!!!

Kristen Jurkovich



WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

This is cool.

It's cool having a relationship with my mom where she literally asks me, "Are you going out today?" and I reply "yeah" and she's cool with it.

All she said was "Okay, just eat breakfast before you leave. And mail my letter at the post office."

No hassle? No questions? Just an errand? Boy, this is the life. Makes me feel like the world is mine.

It's good knowing that you are responsible enough to be left alone with yourself and know that you won't abuse your liberties for doing malicious or mischievous activities. I sure like to study, laugh, and learn though!


Today I might go buy a Cal hat at Concord. Or hang out with the Mains and Joes. Then study somewhere, maybe the library.

Rejoice to God, for I am alive!

Closer to my Dreams.

I'll be honest. I was hesitant, reluctant, even scared stiff to enter the next post in here. I kind of did leave everyone on a cliffhanger ending the last one. Sorry, haha but I'm not 100% sure yet!!

But i am 99%. Let me take you guys back to the past 48 hours.


After opening that logging into myBerkeley thursday night and seeing that I actually got accepted, I remember it being bittersweet. I was blind, and didn't know how to take it. Should I be bouncing off the walls? Should I be angry that they just made my decision harder? Am I right to feel bittersweet and unsure? I put all of the racing thoughts into my blogger.


I still felt restless, so I put some of that energy into writing. It helped me write "Letter to my future girlfriend". I actually thought it was better than all of the crap I thought up for this years poetry slam, haha. I even had a few impromptu introduction words for the poem, inspired from the Thank you message that Pharrell said on the inside of the cover to the N*E*R*D album Fly or Die. It was dope.

The next day was Hella Poetic, and it helped me put off thinking about my decision even more. The event was cool. Highlights of the night was hearing Abdi, Johnny, and Lexationship. "I still miss smellin' yo muh'fuckinn hair..." I went home that night and slept away, not even thinking much about college. Berkeley did send me a couple letters that said "Congratulations on your acceptance to UC Berkeley", but it wasnt a formal big envelope kind of letter. I was kind of puzzled.

I am proud Johann got accepted. She'll go places. Change. Grow up. And I'll watch her get in and out of the shit she gets into. She'll always be gay to me.

Mary got in too. I'm not going to tell her to go. I feel that is a homo job. Hint, johann.

But yeah, I'm going to church. I'll continue. There is lots more. Sorry for the cliffhangers.

This may just be the most important decision I've ever made up to date.

Davis or Berkeley?


It does feel good knowing that ever since I was twelve or thirteen years old I dreamed of getting accepted into Berkeley, and it happened. This proves the point that dreams do come true if you work hard, never stop believing, and never give up on them. Thank you God.

But what is more important is the "What now?" effect. Okay, where do I go from here?

Some people take my situation by face value and say with the quickness to go to my dream school. I dont hold it against anyone who tells me to do so and who tells me I'm thinking too hard, but really this will take a lot of consideration.

First of all, Senior year has been the most drastic in terms of my study habits, my perception of time management, focusing on schoolwork, and concentrating on believing that reaching the requirements is not enough-- and to go above and beyond is the norm. That VHS has taught its students to be "minimalists"-- to only go so far as they need to go for a grade. I have realized this is not the way to success, that we must all reach for more in our learning and should grasp for much more, and get into the habit of it, because that is commonality outside of VHS. Now I know that to try to shortcut yourself through assignments, you are only cheating yourself. Pure, undisturbed, Hard work is the key to everything in life. Mr. Tillay taught me that.


Having said all of this, Mr. Tillay also changed the way I percieved college. If you asked me eight or nine months where I wanted to go, I would have said UC Berkeley without you finishing your question. Looking back on it, it's kind of an ignorant statement. I knew it was going to be hard and will be hard at Berkeley, but I didnt know HOW hard. Now I know a little more about the extent of its difficulty, but I'll never know for sure unless I go into the belly of the beast and actually go there.

All i know is Davis is not as rigorous as Berkeley-- it is a great school of which many of my friends go to, and it will be much more comforting to me if I did go there. Yes, no matter where I go, college will be hard, but it's more like the pressure is off if I go to Davis. If i did go there, I would be happy because I would be doing Mechanical Engineering which is my intended major, but it is a job that is not growing.

I would be doing Computer Science at UC Berkeley, which I can certainly do, I'm just more concerned about how rigorous it will be. The competition. The strain.

Basically, I am loving the fact that I am accepted to my dream school. I do not want to screw myself with that decision of going there, only to be a struggling student because the course rigor is not for me. Of course, anything is possible if you set your mind to it, I just know that if I decide to commit myself to Berkeley, I will commit myself fully, or at least know that to compete, that is what I have to do.

That means full on, full time student. All time is devoted to the books. No tv, no late nights out, no girls, and certainly not any partying.

That is the big question: Am I ready to commit to that?

Some might think that I am taking it maybe a little too seriously, but I am expecting the worst, and was planning on doing that at Davis as well, only with more wiggle room to the above stated committments that wouldnt be available if I go to Berkeley.

You might say "How hard can it be?" Well I don't want to find that out the hard way.

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At the same time. I wish for everything in the world that I could survive and go through Berkeley. Looking back at everything that I am, Everything that i stand for, I'm never the type to settle. I always thought of myself as a beast that could do anything, my parents always taught me that I could do anything as long as I pray, work hard, and believe.

But I'm realizing that one man, one teacher has influenced me maybe too much. I dont know. This is too much to fit for one blog.

I'll talk to you later.

Visual interest.

Tokyo! the movie





Extreme sheep LED art





Chad Hugo From the Neptunes. Another one of my biggest heroes.


If only I could get tattoos like that haha

Categorized.

If there is one thing I dislike, it's that I don't like being put into stereotypes or presumed categories. I also dont like putting said titles or categories on myself as well. In my opinion I feel as if that is a type of limitation or weakness. If you bind yourself to be something, you are uniting and paralleling yourself with all the stereotypes and assumptions that come with it, for better or worse.

For example, when I introduce myself to a crowd or to new people, I say "Hey, my name is Earnest Salgado", and not much else. I am a lot of things, whether you know that or not, such as Vallejo High's ASB President, devoted student, avid 49ers/Giants/Bulls/Warriors fan, Hip Hop head, lightweight Sneaker freak, shopper, filipino, son of Ernesto and Rose Salgado, etc, etc.

It's not that I am ashamed of what I am or what have you, it's just that I would like people to get to know me as Earnest Salgado first and foremost. Sure, I could choose to include some good stuff that I do or that I am, but I decline not to for the sake of not passing judgement. And for the most part, it works. I feel that if you are worth knowing, then it's worth telling you the other stuff about me. That's my simple opinion...But I digress.

I see the act of categorizing yourself as a form of limitation and weakness. I see it as putting yourself out there as said category or type for the most part, which leaves not much else room for any other attributes of yourself.

I think it stems from my belief in the "do all, be all" saying, the Bruce Lee belief that "the best style is no style. Be like water".

Yeah, you can say that this is where Pride fits into the spectrum of life, but I say these things as not much of a boastful person. I don't fault those who genuinely toot their own horn, more power to you. You can make others proud and you can be proud of yourself without too much pride, it can be done.

If anything, categorize yourself with good, wholesome ones. I personally like to include really obscure things about me at this point, such as "I wash dishes and fold clothes =]" or "I don't have text because my mother thought it as a distraction".


Just a little food for thought in the morning, you know I woke up thinking about this?

In other news, my father is leaving for the Philippines tonight. I still have a lot of homework to do. And I think my Chingu is realllly coooool

Refocus.

Saturday was not a very productive day. I recycled bottles and cans in the morning, and got fifty dollars out of it. After that, it was sleep, sleep, sleep. I got up to watch the bulls game, which we lost, and then I washed dishes, headed to my room, and stayed in bed.

The only homowork I got done was 25 Calculus multiple choice problems. Boo.

Looking on the bright side, at least I got a lot of rest lately. Additionally, it's sometimes not how you start, but how you finish. I think part of the reason why I haven't been able to concentrate is because my house is totally busy right now. My dad is going to the Philippines on Monday, and my family and I are helping him pack his box and luggage and stuff.

I do feel a little disappointed at myself for such a sluggish start, but I know how I work, and I'll get through it all. What I don't want to do, however, is to get through the work just for the sake of completion. That's bullshit. I know I struggled through my summer homework, and I know that period of struggle propelled me into the high understanding of Fiziks I have now. I just have to repeat that again. I'll get it done, no complaints, no whines, no bothers. I'm a beast with no equal.

If you need me, call my phone, or catch me when I'm online. Other than that, I'll be at JFK if you want to see me. Holler haha sike.

Hype and Materials.

First off Happy Birthday to my mother Rose Salgado! I love my mommy

I can't tell a lie, March is fun. I'm even having a hard time trying to righteously finish off my week before going on spring break. The weather is fine, I'm a spring baby so I have no problems with it (along with no allergies!). But in some cases, there are times where you can blow off and have a little fun. Hell, maybe I deserve it, hahah.

I know I am going to devote the majority of my spring break towards studying for the AP Fiziks test. I think I am going to spend an extended amount of time in that Kaplan guide, which I feel will need some organization of a time table. I also need to study for the AP Calculus BC test, which I feel will be more of a struggle for me.

Tonight I have an interactive reader story to do, Calculus homework, I have to fill out my time log for Physics, and study the Blue and Gold sheets as well. It's okay, stand and deliver time.

What I wanted to really talk about in my blog was about the effects of Hype and "Having the Materialistic Mood", which I kind of feel right now, haha. Last tuesday was my birthday, and I haven't really indulged on myself yet, which I would like to do. It's just that this week I've had to ask my mom for a WHOLE lot of $$$ to pay for senior expenses. Two AP tests were $156, Grad night was $200, Prom is a $180 couple price. That's over $500 to think about! God, the wonders of money...

Which makes me wonder how I will feel about clothes and style when I get older. Will I really value it where I am a shopaholic? Or will I occasionally treat myself to a new shirt or hat every once in a while? At least my style right now does not need much of a bank account, I really like wearing polo's and a fresh pair of sneakers, a comfortable fitted pair of jeans, and a New Era cap once in a while. I love dressing like a nerd. On the reals, the 80's are raging back, and I'm just wondering how much am I going to adhere to that, whether or not will I be with the hype or not.

I've never been the guy to trendset, but I like wearing things that people don't usually see. I take pride in that. On top of having a good head on my shoulders, I enjoy my fashion sense and wearing things that appeal to me. Yes, I do care about my appearance, but I am not overboard with it. I won't spend hours picking out something to wear, per se, but I will go to the extent of getting what to wear ready for tomorrow. Although there are days where I throw things together when I am running late for school or getting ready to go out at night, and ironically sometimes it turns out better than when I plan it out. Funny right? But I digress...

I do enjoy going on hypebeast and looking at all the cool updates everyday, but sometimes I just feel that most of the stuff is unnecessary. I do like some of the stuff though, like new concepts that they put up. I like being "in the know" as Mary says, hahah

Spring Break, hoooo~~~!

Me.

Okay. I'm going to try and best explain more parts of myself and how i think. I think people think it's interesting to know what makes me tick, what makes me who I am, what I base myself off of. It's an ongoing process, and I probably cannot explain everything in one blog. This might take hella blogs. But that's what blogging's for!

1. I'm big on quotes, inspirational/motivational messages, and general "words to live by". My mother would always put up these little positive magazine articles on my wall, or framed messages bought from garage sales she would pass. Above my desktop computer there are three pieces of paper taped to the wall. One is titled "Keys to success" and it lists ten words in order: Attitude, Believe, Commitment, Integrity, Work Ethics, Urgency, Excitement, Desire, Knowledge, Coachability. I do live by these words in order, believing that attitude is most important to success, then comes self confidence, sticking to your goals, doing what is right, working diligently and passionately, wanting to achieve, then comes knowledge, and being able to gain from others. Note that knowledge is 9th on the list. It is probably because whoever wrote this list also thought that "Imagination is more important than knowledge".

There is also another paper below the keys to success titled "Positive Guidelines to Success" which have short and sweet phrases that are good to go by, such as "You can get anything in life you want, if you help other people get what they want", and "Too much analysis causes paralysis".

Lastly, there is a page from an old magazine entitled "Words to Live By" compiled by Katie Hilbert that is filled with quotes from many famous people. There are some good quotes on there, namely one by Les Brown, "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars", and "There's something liberating about not pretending. Dare to embarrass yourself. Risk" said by Drew Barrymore.

2. Here are a few people that I base myself from:

Happy Birthday Earnest!!!

So today is my 18th birthday, and its pretty damn dope. I'm sitting next to Janevie haha and its her sidekick I'm using, I swear sometimes I wish I had one. I'm kinda more into sidekicks and blackberries more than all the touchscreen stuff like iphones, but its cool haha. Which reminds me that I should upgrade my phone since my contract is up this month.

hooooooo~~~

Janevie was here :D 3/17/09

Carry on Tradition.

"I woke up early on my born day, I'm twenty years of blessing
The essence of adolescent leaves my body now I'm fresh in
My physical frame is celebrated cause I made it
One quarter through life some God-ly like thing created" ~ Nasir Jones.


I've waited for this moment for a long time. To grow up. But right at young adulthood's doorstep, I waver. I am not sure how to step into the new day, the next level of life. It does feel a bit weird knowing that you will be eighteen when you wake up the next day.

But I take it in stride, or at least try to. With the sun setting down on us as Seniors at Vallejo High School, two things are crystal clear in my mind of what I want to accomplish: Pass the AP Fiziks Exam, and build a new culture and lifestyle for myself that will serve as a good foundation for success for my freshman year of college.

Both goals are in my sights only if I work at it each and every day. I cannot succumb to "Senioritis" (which I firmly believe is only a mere social acceptance to 12th graders universally, it is not real if you do not allow yourself to believe it). Sadly, I feel that many of my classmates have sunk to that predicament, they feel worn down by the long year, they feel that it will be fine to shut it down for the most part in the 2nd semester, then hopefully switch it back into high gear in time for college. Maybe that works, maybe it doesn't, but I believe success is a creature of habit, especially coming from a high school like Vallejo where minimalism is the norm, BSing mindless assignments will further increase your grade, I'm going to need all the good study habits and good habits in general I can get.

I try to liberate my classmates of their deficiencies with my passion for fiziks and my excitement for learning. Sometimes it works, and there are days where no one picks up on it, but regardless I feel it is important to put that example forth to at least show them the way. Throughout high school I always felt more than just a student; I always took on this leadership role or tried to strive for something outside of my duties as a regular student. Sometimes this would cause trouble for me because I would worry about the class in general, I remember earlier this school year challenging myself to be a facilitator and that panned out lukewarm. I feel I am best when leading by example, that makes it okay for others to recognize my drive and hopefully look at themselves and push harder.

When I feel lacking in drive I know I can get rejuvenated by listening to Tillay. It's kind of a good thing I was able to recognize that about me so early, even before the start of the class. I remember writing in my summer autobiography about "when motivated, I am a highly productive and achieving student". Mr. Tillay is truely amazing in every sense of the word, he's always pulled through for his class even when others cannot live up to that standard. I have been sold on everything you teach and advise about because it is the real thing, and the results show in your own personal experiences about education and your past students experiences.

Attaining my two goals is my prime objective. I carry with me old values and old tradition to help me on my journey.

This feeling is all too familiar.

"It hurts soo good." ~ Andy Milonakis

Right now I feel tired, very tired. From what, you ask? Oh you know, doing my job, as always. Being ASB President is very fun, very tiring. Throughout high school there's been plenty things I've been at school for 12, 13, 14 hours for, from 6:50 am at the start of leadership, to 11 pm cleaning up after events. Tonights event? Filipino club's Benefit concert, whooo!

I was emcee, along with angela. I got to see Gabe Bondoc perform! And talk to him one on one, haha it was wierd telling someone you listen to alot on your ipod, "Hey, you're performing next." I've met him before in 2005 at a Pista sa nayon, and I even got to get an autograph and a picture with him. Honestly I wasn't a big fan before like how I am now, I was pretty much like whatever then.

Tonight I was starstruck, oh god. It probably was the 2nd time I ever felt that way in my life, I was jumping up and down, like shaking in place when introducing him, it was great. I'm going to search the youtubes in the upcoming days for any videos of tonight, being on stage right next to him was pretty damn awesome. I was pretty "fangirl" material, if a guy could get any more fangirl than that. And he autographed my ID card, whoooooot!

Okay, enough about things I did. Sometimes I feel like blogs that only talk about what someone did are pretty damn boring. I enjoy the blogs about what someone thinks.

Vallejo High seems to be on a negative slope in terms of the state of the school and the direction in which the school is going, but if VHS has any bright hopefuls left, it would have to be Derryl Regresado. Yeah, I pick on him alot, alot of people in leadership pick on him because he's a freshman, but I care for the kid. He seems to like the fact that people call him "Mini-Earnest". He aint sexy like me though, but I digress. There's times where I hope he will surpass me one day in the things I accomplished in high school, he's doing a wonderful job right now as Freshman class President, plus he's smart too, so he has a chance at being my second coming.

I always strive to make a lasting impact on everything and everyone that I meet and get involved into. I am ALWAYS looking for ways to leave VHS better than I found it. I see Derryl as one of those examples where that is possible. Derryl is dear to me because I see him as the second coming. I see him as an extension of me, so that when I am off to college, I still resonate within leadership and with the school in general. I know alot of the things Maricar taught me-- being tactful, handling people, staying positive and keeping others enthused, and how to generally go about getting things done, is a big part of how I handle myself as ASB. As a senior, I know I'm on the way out, so I am passing these values on to people like Arron, and Derryl. People I see who have it in them to be ASB President. I sure hope he makes it.


March is fun, real fun. Thank you God.

The Four People You Meet in Life.

the four people you meet in life:

First person is yourself.
Second person is the one you love most.
Third person is the one who loves you most.
Lastly, the one you spend the rest of your life with.

Sadly, in real life, these three people are usually not the same person. The one you love most doesn’t love you; The one who loves you most is never the one you love most; And the one you spend your life with, is never the one you lovemost or the one who loves you most.



I find this Very thoughtful, and in many ways, very true. We can always hope that person could be the same person.

Release.

In previous posts I've brought up the fact of how my experiences directly influence how I carry myself. Let's talk about what exactly that means.

I've always been thought of as a bit "preachy", but I feel like the things I have to say about things hold some value. A few minutes ago my friend was telling me about how stressed they are at the moment. They told me about feelings of being overwhelmed, and almost fainting. I been there, and it hit a climax last year, just as an honor student trying to branch himself out into EVERYTHING: student activities, responsibilities as class president, planning prom, preparing for ap tests, keeping grades up, having a social and family life, and even being part of the school musical.

In essence I've been through more than everyone will probably ever know, and more than anyone will imagine. I look back at it all and think that it truly is WAY too much for a seventeen year old young man to go through, and there are times where I sit down and think about why did God put it on me. I used to believe that you can make your own fortune by your own actions, and in many ways that is true, but in situations where it is out of your hand, I understand that it happens for a reason.

Sometimes I think why things happen to me is because God knows I have some higher purpose in life. I always felt like a born leader, I always felt like I had an extra something inside me that separated me from everyone else. I'm not the smartest, most athletic, most handsome, richest, or nicest guy in the world, but I got something. I think I have some charm to me that is obvious to everyone I know in life.

Millions of times I used to wonder why I cannot "fly under the radar" like how some people can. How come I can never be those people that you know in high school that slip your mind, that get overlooked. Sometimes I feel that I know too many people and are known by too many people; that everyone wants a piece of me. This leads me to feel very stretched out a lot of the time, more so last year but improving now and this year. Sometimes I just want to be important to a certain few, to the people that I really want close to me. I would rather feel wanted by a few than be adored by many.

Keeping perspective, I think this feeling will quickly go away in college. Just because I've been "that guy" in high school doesnt mean shit in the big pond hahah. Which excites me to some extent!

You're Fly.

"If you, as the leader, want to make a difference, you must first find out what is wrong with you so you can be able to empower others."

1. WHAT did YOU LEARN while I was away? Academically, Behaviorally, etc.

In retrospect, the time that Mr. Tillay was away was a tremendous period of self-reflection--I had plenty of time to take a step back, complete the assignments, and evaluate where I was as a person, student, and young man. Unfortunately I feel it was too much time, and quickly after a few days I began to feel as if I was going through the motions with the work and assignments. I realized my fervor, my fire for learning was not being tended to. That's all taken care of with Tillay returning again, but I realized one major thing when he was away: Mr. Tillay will not be there to kindle my fire for learning forever, and I must somehow find the drive within me to push myself to the same level of determination and motivation that I get from Mr. T.

Just last night Mary and I talked about how Raymond essentially drives himself-- he identifies how far he has to go to get the job done, goes about his way in getting there, and stops. We talked about how when he took AP Fiziks, he hardly did any of the work-- he understood what he himself needed to pass the exam, did it, and was on his way. I am not saying that I am better off with this method-- to each his own--but I do bring this up because of his inner drive. He kindled his own fire, and I must learn to somehow kindle my own. Without it, I feel I will flounder in college, and I will be looking around in confusion knowing that when motivated, I am king. But when going through the motions, I am mediocre, I am not special.

Behaviorally I was pretty much even keel the whole time. I am proud to say that Johann actually got some pep in her step and solved a few problems on her own, so I am happy to report that there is hope left in our youth after all. I am proud of the fact that I am making leaps and bounds towards surrounding myself with positive and enthusiastic people. I must continue this. I can actually say I am happy with what is going on with my life, because I've dealt with putting my happiness in steady, solid things, and not shaky, uncertain ones.

2. HOW would I know that you learned it? WHERE would I find the PROOF?

This question pretty much tells me "Okay Earnest, you said what you have learned, how will that resonate to me, your teacher?" I feel I have always shown that I am a thoughtful student, and eventually things that are pressing to me I always ask guidance for, and the things I feel I must add on based on your advice I try my best to apply in my life and study habits.

One thing I truly appreciate and cherish is the little bits of counseling I get from you not only as a fiziks teacher, but as a mentor and guide. I enjoy sharing input and recieving all the emails that I've gotten throughout the schoolyear, and I feel great in having such a connection with a teacher like that. I'm really just like a sponge trying to suck up everything I can in my own time. People ask me sometimes "You email Mr. Tillay often?" and I kinda grin back and say "Yeah, pretty much. Haha." It basically speaks for itself.

3. HOW WELL did you BEHAVE while Mr. Okun was your TEACHER? EXPLAIN.

I behaved myself very well while Mr. Okun was at the helm. I don't really have much to expound about this, I feel I am exponentially above acting like a class clown or jackass when the teacher is trying to do his/her job. That is so 8th grade...anyway, I was particularly polite when he would ask for help about what to do next or what exactly should the class be doing at the moment, and I answered as best I could. Additionally, I did make him laugh a few times over the time he was here. I take pride in my humor, and I hardly ever expose it during fiziks class because I'm so focused.

4. LIST the names of the homework, class work, exam parts, and URL/Computer Notes that you completed while I was away. Use the backside of this paper.

Hickman 149-156
Textbook Q's Ch. 11 3,5,14,17,18
Online Practice Q's Ch. 11 (Early Completion)
Video Notes 21
Attempted PS #24, 25, 26
Practice Problems Ch. 11
URL Notes
Video Notes 22
CD work pg 95-96
Hewitt 159-168

5. Give yourself a GRADE for your OVERALL Achievement while I was gone. Explain.

In all honesty I would give myself an A- just for the simple fact that even though I completed everything that was thrown at me, that alone is not anywhere close to where I can be at, I did not feel up for much above and beyond work like how I usually tackle feverishly, such as blue sheet work. I know I dont do much fizguide work, but I feel better in my accomplishments in struggling through with Giancoli than breezing through the fizguide, mainly because I dont stem my confidence that I am learning through quantity of assignments completed, but more so in struggles confronted and dealt with. I actually feel empty when completing non-grade assignments, much like the virtual lab. I feel fly when I go through the grind, baby!

I would enjoy a review day of the material we covered in your absence, and I am looking forward to more time with the oddly wired teacher at the front again.

Growth.

I'm not really the type to bring up the past, but it was on my mind a couple minutes ago at the dinner table, and I felt like writing about it.

March 7th, 2006 was when my grandfather passed away. Three years from then, a lot of things have changed. My sister graduated from high school, my goddaughter was born, my grandmother passed away, and I'm just about finished with high school. But I feel that was a turning point in my life. Since then, my dad's been going to the Philippines about every March - May, including this year (but only until April 21st this time). That means for every year of my high school career, I've had an extended absence basically every end of each school year, save 10th grade. This absence of my dad for a couple of months at a time every year has been imperative to my growth into my own self, as a young man. I've learned a lot of things about myself each time my dad takes a vacation, made a lot of mistakes, but also had a lot of fun.

The best thing about these absences is that I just have time to myself to just be. I never have to worry about someone looking in on me when I'm in my room, or someone keeping an eye on me when I'm in the middle of something. In essence, it taught me how to grow up-- and real fast. My family would probably say that I'm really set off by myself on a lot of things compared to the rest of the family, and I don't mind that at all. Honestly I don't mind being alone places sometimes, going places alone, driving alone. I see it as a testament to my strength as an individual, and strength of will. But its not like I will myself to be alone per se, I just don't mind it. Don't worry, I love you! But I digress...

After a while, I do end up missing my family like crazy. I remember the day my sister really left for college, she left a post-it on my dresser and I only noticed it probably a couple weeks later, and I teared up haha. And I always felt empty when my father wasn't around. I remember feeling empty when my grandfather died too. Thinking about it, I don't think it's a matter of feeling empty, It's just a feeling of being alone, and it engulfs you for a long time until you adjust to it. When family is together, like when my dad isn't on vacation or when my sister comes home from college on the weekends, I feel happy. But I feel after a week that I'm okay for them to leave again, or at least have the space again. I don't mean to take them for granted at all, that's not what I'm trying to say, I love family and love keeping them close to my heart. I mean that we are all growing as our own persons, it is important to feel this way to be ready to go off to college, to eventually start a family, and so on.

I really feel that the events that happened in my life and especially the way that I handled, responded to, and grew from them is what makes me who I am today. I feel like my attention to detail, putting hours upon hours of thought into current events in my life is an integral part of what makes me, and for it to all add up and me to then further reflect on my life, makes the things I go through even grander. Sometimes its not even about what happens, its about how you take it.

Opinionated.

Opinions are first and foremost not facts and cannot be seen as "right" or "wrong" thinking. If you come into a conversation looking to shoot someone's opinion down, I feel that is harsh. Even if someone contradicts themselves, I feel it is okay because its their opinion; they have a right to change their mind. When someone says "oh you're a hipocrite because you say this and say another later" is just ignorant to change. Which makes it almost pointless to get into an argument with someone based off words and what was said.

If someone does action, then contradicts his/her actions after with another action, I feel that is reason to question. But not based off of words alone. I kind of live off the quote "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." I never care of anyone's opinion of me, if I did, I would not get a lot of things I do accomplished, I would be so wrapped up in perception that I would be frozen and hesitant to do anything. Sometimes it's best to block perception and opinions.

But opinions are always a touchy subject. There are fine lines between opinions, advice, and criticism. Opinions can be either, but tend to be seen as either advice or criticism based off additional factual statements, and whether they are positive or negative comments.

When saying an opinion, you might want to feel caution when trying to also convince others that your thinking is right. People might feel offended from your vibe. Sometimes I say my opinion and put it in a manner where it can be taken as "This is what I said. Take it how you take it" kind of emphasis. But when I feel strongly about my opinion, I say it and give an example to support my statement.

But you must always remember to try and not catch hard feelings towards mere strangers who are openly opinionated, because they are just expressing themselves, and in the end, opinions arent concrete enough to be seen as right or wrong. The most they can be is a thought that many people agree or disagree with. Which in turn is where you get your stereotypes, labels, racial slurs, beliefs, assumptions, and so on.


But then again, this blog is an opinion in and of itself. It's just how I see things. Keeping things in perspective, remembering the grander scale, is best when dealing with Opinions...

Music.

Alot of people know me for a lot of things. Alot of people know me as a lot of things. Do they know me as music junkie though? Nobody would really guess, but in a lot of ways, not guessing what people listen to is common. I know my friend Raymond Sapida, even though he doesnt look like it, he listens to WU-TANG! Wow! But I digress...

I have about 4364 songs on my Ipod, which ranges from genres like hip hop, r&b, rock, alternative, classical, pop, hawaiian, Filipino, Oldies, Funk, rap, showtunes, hyphy, reggae, acoustic, techno, punk, and more. I can play mainstream to underground, new hits to timeless classics, Bob Marley to Zion I, to Haddaway to 50. Even Spice girls (which I think their first album is a bona fide classic!)

I really haven't gotten into updating my Ipod in the longest time, nor have I gotten into adding some of the new music that's out there. Sometimes I don't even like the new music, and I just stay with some old stuff. Recently I've been listening to a lot of uke music, like chris ramos wong or just uke instrumentals. I guess I have to convert them to mp3 haha and add them.

The fact that I am a music junkie rises a lot of realizations that you cant really judge anyone. You never know what you'll get from anyone.

Dreams.

When I was a child growing up, I dreamed in becoming a professional basketball player. Michael Jordan was a God to me, I remember wearing his jersey every day, even wearing it under my church clothes. I held on to that dream probably until fourth grade, and then I let it go. It seemed with Jordan's retirement, I let go with basketball itself. He came back three years later, but in that time I still did not love the sport like I did as a seven year old.

After that, I started realizing I had a head on my shoulders. I guess that's why I saw fourth grade as a bit of a turning point. Less physical, more mental building (ironically fourth and fifth grade was a period of growth spurt!). I always knew I was bright, I just thought I was better at playing basketball than anything else, and not that my game was anything to sneeze at, I was pretty darn good. It's the fact that I've been playing basketball since the age of four that keeps me a solid player even now when I don't play. But I realized I had a mind that could take me places exponentially farther than what my skinny frame and short stature could take me in the basketball realm. I would keep that in mind, but still play for fun and for recreation, joining Vallejo Middle School's basketball team in 7th and 8th grade. In fact, our team won the 7th grade division when we were that grade! Fun times...

Getting into high school, I didn't find a subject that I really felt passionate about until 12th grade. Up until that point, I would go crazy going back and forth thinking about what I could become, College majors and stuff. I found out I was a solid overall student. I was a solid essay writer, great math student, blind science student, great history student, active in leadership and student government, played sports. Note that I say "blind science student". I did not see the importance of science until I took physics. Well, I see everything differenty because of physics. But that is a subject for a future blog entry, and will probably be a blog to remember, when I get around to it. But I digress...

I bounced back and forth about what I should get myself into. Accountant stuck for a few weeks. Psychologist for years. Then Psychiatrist. Then Politician possibly. Author perhaps. I thought I was really going to get my MBA and go into Business. Then finally, I thought I was stuck on becoming a doctor. And I really thought I was going to be that until I found good old physics. Now I am committed to becoming a Mechanical Engineer, I love that stuff!

Now I thought it was ironic for me to land on being an engineer, when my father was the one who initially pushed me to become one, even at a young age. He's the one who dragged me out of the house all day to sit around and work on the car. He's the one who would bring me to his work to watch him hammer, nail-gun, skillsaw plywood together to construct additions to houses. And I didn't bat an eyelash. I dismissed ever going into engineering at a young age. But look at me now, haha

I believe in dreams, I believe in realizing what you are good at and what you are passionate about and following it hard until you grow old. I believe that if everyone loved their job, then they would do their job to the best of their abilities, and the world would be a better place. It is only when people who do things for the money do you get people doing crappy efforts. That's why I disagree with guys saying they want to become a nurse because it pays good, and kind of lose respect for them. It shows that they are choosing things for monetary reasons, not for more substantial factors such as trying to make a difference in life, or for the love of their profession. I think that is disappointing.


So kids, it does sound cliche, but follow your dreams, and never stop in doing so.

Man Vs. Wild

On a lighter note I thought I would share a youtube I think is quite hilarious. Bear Grylls, the survivor expert from Man Vs. Wild, well...surviving! hahaha

"good to eat, good to eat raw!"

Coming of Age.

Growing up, I've read in my English classes about many stories where the character is said to go through a process of "coming of age", where through the story and plot, he/she matures and changes from an adolescent to a young adult.

I never understood a word of that junk. Probably because I didn't care to read any full novel in its entirety throughout high school (YES, ALL FOUR YEARS, JUST BITS AND PIECES OF NOVELS, OR ENOUGH TO WRITE ESSAYS OF AND TO CATCH THE GIST), but maybe more importantly because I don't think I would have gotten affected unless the story were mine, where I was the main character per se.

I believe I've gone through enough to confidently say that I feel a strong change in my level of maturity, self discipline, and understanding. Some people see me as a very strong person, for better or for worse. I say that because sometimes strong can be a crutch, in which you can pass off as insensitive to others, and as an advantage, in which you can endure much more pain, suffering, and setbacks than the next person.

Actually, people offhand probably cannot even tell what I've been through. But in all actuality, who can tell what people have been through in that way? I digress.

I believe I do have a high level of tolerance and patience for people. I forgive people very easily, almost simplistically easily. I easily keep words but do not hold it against them when others spread a secret I tell them to keep. I try and stay as positive as I can, if someone acts sour to me one day, I come back and try to keep upbeat with them the next day. I never try to stick in negative thought, I believe in myself to a degree where it can fluctuate but never hit zero. I believe in others probably way too much, I would be more of an optimist. And I never say never.

Alot of this is stemmed from two main things: Values instilled in me by my parents, and what I see as trying to "live like Christ" as much as I can.

The first one might not surprise people, but the second one might. Even though I do not bring it up much, I feel I am very rooted with God, and I feel I have good connection with my faith. I would never term myself as "religious" because I was never the type to shove my religion down people's throats either by word or by action, I would not even be termed a devout Catholic. I go to church for my own good and benefit, I take what I take from each Sunday Mass I attend and every Sermon I hear. That is what I expect everyone does. I expect that everyone takes something different.

What I take is that the world would be a better place if everyone strived to live like God; rich in kindness, slow to anger, loving and forgiving. A good Samaritan. Righteous and sincere. That is what I strive to be each and every day, and I will be the first to tell you that I am VERY FAR from being perfect, but I try to be these things regardless. Yes, I've made many mistakes in my life, but because of my faith I believe that in time, I will be forgiven, and I pray for God's and those who I've hurt's forgiveness.

People say they devote their life to their faith, I cannot say that because I am not religious enough and cannot say that I am interested enough in becoming a Priest to say so.

I say I live in faith, love in faith, learn in faith. Hence the name?



Tomorrow, I'll talk about my dreams and aspirations. Really. And how I think that to achieve them, shedding all thoughts of materialisticity and "rewards for the low lifes" are crucial.

Parents.

My parents are pretty good driving forces in my life. They always taught me to earn everything, do things the right way, be respectful to others, and to work hard. They always keep me grounded whenever my head gets too high, always making me feel fortunate for my position in life, just by being an American born.

Just a while ago my father was talking about his upcoming trip to the Philippines, speaking about how my cousin is doing. He told me that he's 27 going on 28 years old, and has become a farmer. This is the same cousin I saw when I took a visit to the Philippines at 24 years old, aspiring to come overseas and try a life in the United States. It seems his fortunes has changed since then, and when I heard the news I thought of how he must've felt, trying to put his hopes on hold and swallow reality in front of him.

Actually, that feeling does feel like shit. But the big thing is to never give up hope, no matter how dark or bleak things seem. Time heals everything, and opens many doors. I dont give up hope on my cousin's dreams of coming to the US, I'll pray for it in the meantime.

My parents keep me down to earth and on the right track. They always raised me to be a better person. I will never admit that they are perfect, but the high character man that my father is, combined with my studious, imaginative mother make a good team. And from personal experience they are far from the most harmonious marriage, but looking at the grander scale I think its obvious they are a good match, whether it was known to them or not at the time they got married. They make me the person I am today, and they always motivate me to be the best person I can be and to study as hard as I can.

It's kind of funny, saying all of this high praise about how good my parents are at being "parents". If you asked me at ages 10-16, I would probably have said otherwise. And looking back at it all, it's not like they worked wonders on me, or ever seemed like they were putting an emphasis on parent skills. I just think its a combination of me coming of age and understanding where they are coming from, and also just knowing that parenting is not about how much you force your kid, its more about just focusing about setting the best examples and values for your kid. Because in all actuality, that's all you can do as a parent, and hope that they realize things one day.

Kind of like what happened with me. =]



PS. I think this entry sparks new thought in future blog entries, such as how everything in life "depends", and other stuff