Counting the days.

Time is running down.

Air Salgado (8:08:16 PM): well like, the thing about being a senior in late april
Air Salgado (8:08:36 PM): is that you know that life is going to change very drastically in the immediate future
Air Salgado (8:08:55 PM): and as much as you want to latch on to someone for companionship or love
Air Salgado (8:08:58 PM): you feel hesitant
smartishpnay (8:09:06 PM): yeah thats exactly how i feel.

In all reality, it seems very brash and illogical to have a relationship right now. But sometimes, there are moments where it seems very trying. Days and nights pass when you think of having someone you can trust with everything, you can tell everything, you can call them at anytime and they'll answer, and you know they'll love you for it. I think everyone at some point long for companionship like that, and I feel that everyone in life should have the chance to feel love like that.

I honestly had that before, and I can say I chose to let it go. I made that decision, and for the most part I am proud of myself for it. I dont miss that person, I miss that genuine connection with another person pretty much. Just having something that solid.

But I can feel this way one second, and the next moment not feel a thing. The next moment I can be perfectly fine with my life, loving where I am going with things, feeling for the most part like I don't need someone right now. That's how I feel like 90% of the time.

It's just the remaining 10% where I am either alone at home just thinking, or in the minutes laying in bed before i sleep. Or driving home at night. I think about these things. At Prom I thought about it, like maybe there was a reason why I went alone this year.

There are times where I think I am a total loser because it's been so long since someone's forreals been totally into me. Like I have repellant. Haha.

Although I think all of these things, I do understand that I am very selective in who I choose to like. On the reals, you got to be pretty damn dope if I like you. I understand that I do have my own ambitions to chase, my own life to live, my own shit that I like to get done on a daily basis...

But that doesn't mean that I can't hope. Note to my future girlfriend, whoever you are. You better have a good ass reason why I had to wait this long. Or perhaps why I didn't notice you before. And if I haven't met you yet, apologize for not meeting me earlier. Hahaha.

Life on your own terms is very liberating.