2 am.

I hate this part of the night. Not for apparent reasons, that it's dark and spooky, but because I always think around this time.

It's late, nobody to talk to on the phone, everyone's sleeping, so I have nothing to do. Then my mind just starts to wander.

This is the part where I lay in bed and wonder about things.

There's a lot of times where I catch people saying or doing lots of things that they don't mean. There's this one thing, and it's kind of messing with the fam's summer. I thought it was a kind of dangerous idea from the start, but both of them were happy. Now what I expected happened, and now look. Ay yai yai

That's another thing I've learned after being single and not having serious feelings for anyone for a while: people act different when talking/in love/ with someone than when they aren't. I kinda don't like the change in people, but it's pretty inevitable if you think about it. I think it's because when liking someone, your awareness of that person and yourself skyrocket, when as opposed to not liking anyone, you're just living along with most other things, having fun.

I think that's another way to gauge if you still like someone or not; whether or not you are aware of them like that.

Ronnel knows me best. He said I am single and everything and I catch feelings from time to time, but all of that's not serious. What is serious to me though, is that deep, deep down inside I still like someone, with serious feelings.

...yeah. But it's wishful thinking, right?

I am taking an online course through Napa Valley College. I gotta buy a ninety dollar text today. Shit. It's an intro to Computer Science class, and it's not an online course where you can go your own pace, there's deadlines and stuff.

Jackie was right, community college classes are shit and don't help for shit. I guess I'm just wasting my money and doing busy work?

Whoopee.

I think I forgive people very easily. Like once they say they're sorry I drop it. Is this for better or for worse?

Damn being up at night.